Mogollon News — Politics


The Bloated Goat Saloon closed for the season Thursday before Memorial Day.

Some folks might think it contrary to shut down a public establishment just when tourist traffic is picking up. Some folks don’t know Jim and Melissa Farnsworth, the proprietors.

According to Jim and Melissa, the Bloated Goat just is not big enough to accommodate the number of people who would want to use it in summer. There is not enough space for parking either. This may be true, but everyone in Mogollon believes the real reason they shut down is politics.

Jim and Melissa are, once again, running against each other for mayor of Mogollon. With primaries over, they figure it is time to hit the campaign trail.

The campaign trail is fairly short actually - ever since the time, a few years back, when they drove into the Pacific - Pacific Mine that is, and had to hire a team of mules to haul them back out again. However, Silver Creek Canyon has rarely been graced with such oratory (or slander, depending on your point of view) as our worthy mayoral candidates on the stump.

Melissa is running as a Federalist. Jim is running as a Whig. They campaign together. Precisely what their program is for the future glory of Mogollon remains somewhat murky. Their opinion of one another, however, is brilliantly displayed for all the world to hear - or at least local residents of voting age.

The entire population of Mogollon has long since made it clear that any mayor who tries to raise a budget of over thirty-four cents from local taxes of any kind will be tarred and feathered and dropped down the Glory Hole. However, Jim and Melissa campaigning is a good enough show that quite a few people will feed them dinner when they come around. - And folks remember how generously they hand out rounds on the house in winter.

Elvira Sonderfeld even puts on an open house. People weren’t sure she would be up for it this year as she is now eighty-five. "When I was forty-five, I lied about my age. Now I’m proud of it," she says.

It is not altogether clear whether Elvira’s open house is really for Jim and Melissa’s benefit or just so the bears can show off their new cubs. She hasn’t set the date yet, but she has already started cooking. It should be a good one.

Jim and Melissa are well into their campaign. The invective and breaking crockery are frequently audible clear to South Fork.

Read more samples from the Mogollon News

The Silver Creek Temperance Society
The Balloon
Halley’s Comet
The Libyan Invasion
A Case of Religion

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